Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    Get a cat.  Then you can tell yourself "it's only the cat" and
    go back to sleep.  (I'm serious!)
    					Steve

    Or get a dog, then it really will be making the noises. 
    
    Paul.

    Or get into heavy metal and turn it up loud. Then you won't be able
    to hear the noises (or much else...)
    
    --bonnie, somewhat tongue in cheek

    Hi Gale--
    
    Being an "adult" has NOTHING to do with it!  All my life I have
    loved horror movies and stories, and at night you can be sure I
    hear any (or all) of the following:
    
    *A vampire scratching at my window
    *A killer squid in my bathtub
    *A homocidal maniac with a cleaver under my bed
    *A werewolf in the closet
    *Demon cockroaches under the sink
    *Hairy-legged spiders the size of small dogs in the attic
    *Disembodied voices coming up out of the drain
    
    So, as Steve says, having a cat really does the trick.  I can always
    blame any noise on her!! :-)
    
    Good luck,
    
    Jane
    
    
    

    I've had my cat for 8 years and believe me it works.  I have
    always lived on the second floor so don't worry to much about
    the windows and as long as the doors are locked I don't worry
    about anyone getting in.  Since I was little I used to have the 
    fear of someone being underneath my bed.  Well I solved that 
    problem with a new bed, a waterbed.  Still haven't solved the
    one with the butcher knife thru the shower curtain.  But kitty
    comes in the bathroom when I shower so again, if I hear any
    noises its from her.
    
    Jude \___^.
          /\ /\

    P.S. We could just be hearing things too.
    

    If a noise occurs often/long enough, you can walk downstairs and
    find out what it is!  Then you'll know "it's only the furnace/wind
    thru the screen/green shambling horror from Hell" ....
    
    Of course, if the sound is coming from the basement, oh dear Lord
    don't go down there .
    			 .
    			  .
    			   argh

    Having seen Gale's basement, it's probably the kids' clothing, which
    having gained life from the photographer's chemicals stored next
    door, are trying to find the laundry detergent to exorcise themselves.
    :-)
    
    For years I had a black panther which crouched on top of the big
    wardrobe at the foot of my bed. I still can't sleep with any part
    of my anatomy hanging over the edge of the bed. I *know* there are
    things just waiting to grab me if I stick so much as a finger over
    the edge. If you break the seal the blankets make as they meet the
    edge, the things can get you, too. [ghod, it's had to sleep and remember
    all this stuff :-)]
    
    I've always lived in rather noisy houses, that creaked and moaned
    and had boards snap. I also second the idea of cats. At least then
    when you hear what sounds like a herd of elephants playing hockey
    in the kitchen, you know it the cats, playing with that good earring
    you lost the other day. ;-)
    
    Tamzen

    The cats help!  except when something scares THEM and they come
    crawling under the covers with their eyes real big - now *that's*
    serious!
    
    The other thing that helps me is nightlights.  And light switches
    at both ends of the hall, so you can turn on lights in front of
    you as you go, and you're never walking through a dark room.  If
    it's really a bother you can leave a light on somewhere in the
    house so you can see into that space that bothers you.
    
    And, yes, the bed on the floor with no space under it helps too!
    
    --Louise
    

    RE: 315
    
    I know exactly what you mean, Gale....your mind can conjure up
    all kinds of dastardly doings when you are alone.  Its not the
    "monsters" that scare me, its the imagined possibility that someone 
    could be breaking into the house.        
    
    I'd suggest getting a dog or taking Karate.  If I ever live
    alone this is what I'm doing.  Getting a dog....a big dog
    with lots of teeth.  
    
    We have a cat, the cat always looks nervous.....which makes me
    nervous.
    
    Jeanne
    
                       

    I concur with the suggestion of getting a cat. If you have the cat,
    then either the noise you heard was caused by the cat, or if the cat
    wasn't bothered by it, then you know it was nothing. 
    
    Another tack is to mentally conjure up your own guards to protect you
    from the imaginary monsters. The imaginary guards will have no problems
    taking care of the imaginary monsters, right? Well, it makes a lot more
    sense in the middle of the night. 
    
    	Jon

RE: .0

Gale,

Quit staying home alone up late, watching horror movies and eating pickles
& ice cream!

RE: cats

Cats don't help...  

Last night after midnight I returned to my new home (just moved into sharing a
house in Concord) after dancing, and was having some nice chicken salad &
pischtasio ice cream, when I could swear I heard a woman groaning, and it was
coming from the fireplace!  It would repeat with one groan about every thirty
seconds of varying intensity... 

So...

I went in and woke up my housemate, and said very politely, "Excuse me, but
there's a woman groaning in the fireplace...".



It was the Damned Cat with Asthma!

Jim.

    It was her but she was embarrassed to say so.

    

    I never knew there were so many other people who were bothered
    by/scared  of noises at night! Inspite of Jim's experience, I do
    find that having a pet helps. If they aren't upset by what ever
    it was that I just heard then I know everything is all right. 
    I still remember waking up terrified one day when I had stayed
    home sick from work to hear a conversation downstairs. Only the
    fact that I had three cats sleeping on my bed and the dog peacefully
    snoozing on the floor kept me from panicing.....turns out the
    radio had been left on.....sigh

    Re .7:
    
    Thanks, Tamzen - I thought I was one of the few adults who still
    worries about the Things Under the Bed!
    
    For a long time as I was growing up I absolutely *knew* that if
    I let any part of my body hang over the edge, the Giant Cockroaches
    would get me. I think this is one of the major Bedtime Commandments:

	    Thou shalt not hang over the edge.
    
    Another is:
    
    	    Thou shalt not put thy head under the covers.

    I always believed that if It was sneaking up on you, and if you
    had your head under the covers, It would know you were hiding and
    would proceed to jump on you...

    How did we manage to get through childhood without dying of fright?

    And why do I still love horror stories???
    
    -b
    
    p.s. The cats do help - having a snoozing cat on the bed reassures
    me that the bogeyman isn't really there. (Even though Chiun would
    probably sleep through an earthquake, bless him...)

    As an avid fan of science fiction, I no longer fear things under
    the bed.  I know that anything that's coming will open a portal
    over the bed into another dimension and suck me up. This was once
    a recurring nightmare resulting from reading 'The Chronicles of
    Thomas Covenant , The Unbeliever' (all six books) by Donaldson in
    one night. 
    	I used to sleep on a futon which transmitted the vibrations
    within the apartment right to my ears or sleeping mind where the
    sleeping mind did with them as it will and transformed them to other
    things.  Made for interesting dreams since I was a light sleeper.
    	Since my marriage to a woman who awakens many times during
    the night for bathroom/refrigerator/close the window/shut of the
    radio trips, I now sleep like a rock. I should mention that that
    cat also does all of the above except for the refrig. 
    No more dreams.                   
    	                                                             
    

    Keep the .45 under the pillow.   :-)
    
    (Unloaded, please- magazines handy though)
    
    - M

    
    re: Jim B.
    
    Geez, Jim, you sure can pick 'em.  First you lived upstairs from
    the children conducting Cthluhoid rites on the first floor in wonderful
    downtown Lowell, now you've got women groaning in the fireplace.
    
    re: things that go bump
    
    I had to get over this as a kid.  I grew up in a 150 year old house,
    complete with a basement with a staircase straight out of Steve King's
    "'Salem's Lot."  In fact, now that my parents live in a house that
    any three termites would starve to death in, I find it too quiet. 
    
    I really conquered my fears in college, spooking around some of the
    older buildings in the middle of the night.  Not only was there the
    chance that you'd get your head blown off by some inattentive campus
    cop, but those buildings were CREEPY, with vaulted ceilings and
    towers and ladders and stuff....
    
    I really don't have a good suggestion for you, Gale, except maybe
    a teddy bear.  You can face anything if you and Teddy creep up in
    to the dark to check it out together.
    
    DFW

    Thanks all... I finally was able to fall asleep sometime after
    midnight...  What I did was turn "all" the fans in the house on
    high... which took care of hearing any noise... however.... I then
    thought... if anyone DID break in, I'd never hear them :-)
    
    Re: Dog or cat.... how I wish... I'd love a Staint Bernard again
    (my absolute favorite)... however my lease says no pets except for
    fish, and I somehow don't think fish is the same as a dog ;-)
    
    

    Looking forward to sleep tonight....
    
    GLK

    If you can't have pets then my vote would be for "TEDDY".
    I can't have pets either and when I have to stay in the house
    all alone you bet your buns Teddy is right next to me!  It
    makes me feel a little more secure, even though I know teddy 
    wouldn't do a very good job of protecting me if it ever came
    down to that.
    
    Debbi

	As a rather boring, mundane alternative, have you considered some
	other sort of white-noise (or pink-noise) generator?  Come winter,
	all those fans could get a bit chilly....

	Digression:
	When my son was very young, he had breathing problems at night; the
	pediatrician's analysis was that the house was probably too dry, and
	to try a humidifier.  Well, this was before the nice quiet ultrasonic
	humidifiers, so we got a cold-water vaporizer.  Turns out this one was
	defective; in addition to spraying water (not mist), the little fan 
	gizmo buzzed at moderate volume.  It not only helped his breathing, 
	but the buzz covered other noises so that he slept better!  We kept 
	using that silly vaporizer - empty - for over a year afterwards; he's 
	finally outgrown it, and now sleeps pretty soundly through anything.


	Personally, though, I vote for cats and/or teddy bears.  After all,
	a teddy IS a bear and could use his claws and teeth to protect his
	loved ones by fending off whatever might be attacking you from 
	beneath the bed... or out of the closet... or....

		-hh

      Gale, they are comming to get you................
    
                  REK

    Thanks Rick.... Geez.... :-)
    
    Well, good news, I JUST got off the phone with my landlady, and
    she has agreed to let me get a dog :-) 
    
    Gale

    Or, taking a cue from "Calvin and Hobbes", drop a pillow on the
    floor before you get out.  The monsters under the bed will be
    distracted and give you time to make your escape.
    					Steve

This was great reading!  Lots of chuckles.  And some of the stories and imagina-
tions out there simply astounded me!   ;-)

Well, my thought is this:  when you hear the noise, try to listen real careful-
ly.  It helps to close your eyes, take very short breaths, and breathe through
your mouth.  Try to determine exactly where the noise is coming from.  Also,
try to picture what types of materials would make that type of sound ( wood on
wood, wood on metal, etc. ).  After listening as hard as you can for awhile,
you may find that you know what's causing it.  Or at least you know where to
look!  If you can convince yourself that you know what's causing the noise,
you probably won't be nervous about it any longer.  Most people are scared more
of the unknown than anything else, and an unexplained noise implies all kinds
of possibilities.


Or, you can always yell out, "Please be sure to close the door tight on your
way out!"!!!   ;-)


Brian

    gee,i am glad to hear that there are other people out there that
    get scared too.one night i actually ran outside in only my bathrobe
    on with a foot of snow on the ground to boot,and got my next door
    neighbor to go through the house because i heard a noise.it was
    snow falling off the roof...
    
    last nights dreams... open graves no less,with decomposed bodies
    to go along with them.*sigh*
    
    kelly

re: .25
>    last nights dreams... open graves no less,with decomposed bodies
>    to go along with them.*sigh*
You too?
Of course i got chased out into the snow by a "samurai squirrel" that
got into the house when i was 13 or 14...so what do i know?

    RE .11
    
    Your right cats don't help.  I have 3 of them and when they're all
    lying at the foot of the bed and there is still noises.......it
    makes you ........wonder.
    
    About the woman groaning in the fireplace......that reminds me of
    an event that happened in our appartment one night................
    I lived in Manitou in a very old house with a roomate.  One morning
    3:30 am my roomate came in and shook me awake....he asked "are you
    perking coffe?"  I said, "Stephen, why on earth would I be perking
    coffee in my sleep at 3 am?"  I woke up enough to listen and get
    scared.....it sounded like coffee perking in the corner of the living
    room no less!!!  No, it was not the cat doing a jig.  I am convinced
    that that house is spooked though.  We also had loud crashing noises
    coming from the fridge, then we unplugged it and found out it wasn't
    the fridge after all!  What it was we do not know.  And there was
    a noise that sounded like a puppy wimpering....but the neighborhood
    was puppyless.  I figured in this type of situation, if ya can't
    beat em join em......I left water out for my wimpering friend.........
    he never wimpered again.
    
    And yes.....we fear the unknown
    

    the only noises I hear in the apartment are scratches and scrabblings
    from above the ceiling, but seemingly below the roof (squirrels
    in the heating ducts?)....but now we have gerbils & mice (I'm allergic
    to anything bigger that's furry) and they have exercise (exorcise?)
    wheels that keep the random noises at a less worrisome level.
    
    mystery set in last winter - late on winter evenings, while sitting
    in bed sipping hot cocoa, we'd hear what sounded like a cat in its
    death throes - short & sharp & shrieky.  No children in adjacent
    apartments - we could not figure it out....then it dawned on me...
    
    the whistling teakettle, when empty, if left on the stove, would
    cool and contract, forcing a short blast of air through the whistle.
     case closed (elementary...my dear watson)

    <I knew I took thermodynamics for a reason>
    -Jody
    

Re: .19 from Debbi Lane

> It makes me feel a little more secure, even though I know teddy 
> wouldn't do a very good job of protecting me if it ever came
> down to that.

    Fill your teddy with lead pellets and whack any intruders with it!

						:-)

    If you have kids you can try telling them that the monsters are just
    as afraid as they are and can easily be scared away. I may work.
    It may work well for yourself too.

				Bj�rn who long ago fought off
				imaginary monsters with equally
				imaginary (but quite effective)
				defense systems.

>    If you have kids you can try telling them that the monsters are just
>    as afraid as they are and can easily be scared away. I may work.
>    It may work well for yourself too.

	But don't take the kids to see "Aliens" till they're a bit older....

		Helen

    
    My favorite is my security Flail.
    and my security Sword.
    
    Now, If I can just finish my Security chain mail Knight shirt, I'll
    be all set...
    
    Clark.

        I startled Brendan one night when we were the only two in the
        house and I distinctly heard a door open and then close. The
        poor kid is sound asleep and suddenly Papa leaps into his room
        grabs him, dives back into the master bed-room and tosses him
        lightly onto the bed. Making sure that the poniard (twelve
        inches steel with a pin point) is accessable on a closet shelf a
        foot or two from the door, Papa says "Stay!" in *the voice*, and
        slips out of the room brass-handled walking stick held over his
        head. 
        
        I found nothing and the police said that their hadn't been any
        break-in reports in *our* neighborhood lately (emphasis theirs,
        by the way).
        
        JimB. 

    A night light will help with the nightmares.  I put one in in
    my bathroom, so now, when I bolt from my bed because of the
    knife-wielding hulk next to it, I no longer flee farther than
    the hall entryway, from which I can see the light, and realize
    that it was just a dream.  (The farthest my friend ever got
    (before his light) was into the car, with his briefcase, with the
    engine running.)
    
    For real life noises, cats will help.  The crashing noise in the
    garage was undoubtedly a cat knocking over the new downspouts, or
    the old screen door.  But the sound of empty tin cans [of cat food]
    being surreptitiously scraped across the floor!  *That* is a racoon
    which has squeezed in through the cat door.
    
    Get a timid cat.  If the cat isn't afraid of the noise, why should
    you be?
    
    							Ann B.

    Gale,
    
    Re:   > She has agreed to let me get a dog
    
    Congratulations!!  That must be good news to you.  Now you can
    have a little friend.  A real "tough" name might be appropriate
    for the cause...although, just having a dog around will probably
    help a lot.
    
    We have three cats, and usually, right after a noise, one of them
    will appear at the top of the stairs looking wild.  Guilty!
    
    I used to be afraid when I lived alone.  I would always hear noises.
    Finally I got fed up with being afraid and said to myself and "the
    monster", "Okay fine, kill me if you must.  But I'm going to get 
    some sleep." :^)
    
    Have fun with your puppy!
    
    Jerri

I like the monster from "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy".

That book listed many reasons why the space traveller should *always*
have their towel handy !

One important reason was to protect you from some kind of monster,
anyone remember what it's called ?  Anyway, if attacked by this certain
kind of monster, you merely throw your towel over your head, because this
monster is...

	"...deadly, but daft as a brush.  It assumes that if you can't
	see it, it can't see you!"

/Eric

|One important reason was to protect you from some kind of monster,
|anyone remember what it's called ?  Anyway, if attacked by this certain
|kind of monster, you merely throw your towel over your head, because this
|monster is...

The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. 

			Nigel

    Several years ago, I awoke in the wee hours to *voices in the
    living room*.  Two or three men, no less.  Heart pounding, I got
    up and slunk (slinked?) into the living room to see what/who I
    could see.  (Real wise, huh?  I didn't even have a slipper to
    hit them with.  Realized a moment too late that I should have
    called a friend or the police to say who/where I was, and ask
    them, minimally, to hold on and listen for the screams (mine)).
    
    'Twas the old stereo -- it has several "pre-selected" stations
    that are activated by warmth, as in the touch of a finger...
    or the touch of a cat paw, as it turned out.  Love those
    late night talk shows!?@#?!
    
    The cats do it by accident about twice a year now.  At least they
    haven't gotten themselves trained to do it more frequently!
    
    But what do I do the *one* time I get up to turn of the radio
    and its *not* the radio???   
    Hit IT with the radio?  or with the cats?
    
    BTW, the problem with nightlights is that the nightlight gives
    IT a better view of YOU!   
    
    I think the best kind of bed *does* have a space under it...
    and that is the best place to sleep!  
    
    	Penelope

	My cat isn't shook up by much (except earthquakes.. :^)) so
	I don't put too much stock in her reactions.

	One night, though, I was awakened at about 2:30 by the sound
	of someone trying a side window of the house.  I was living
	with two guys, both of them were out of town for the weekend.
	(My cat wasn't asleep, but not disturbed by this.)  The sound
	moved to another window.  Because of a number of robberies and
	assaults in the neighborhood, I armed myself and went to find
	the phone... turning on lights and cautiously entering rooms
	that I had to pass through.  As I got to the phone, a window
	in one of the bedrooms was forced open.  Heart pounding, I
	dropped to the floor (good training from Uncle Sam) and 
	it was... ONE OF MY ROOMMATES!!  He returned early, drunk, 
	with a "friend" and had lost his keys.  The girl (his friend) 
	was even more startled than I was!  We all had a good laugh 
	about it later.... MUCH later.

	I told him it was OK to wake me up... 

	(I've long since moved... :^))
                                              
						-- Mike

    Before I knew what was going on I have been frightened by cats
    steping on the drier control and thus turning it on (there was
    time left on the dial) and walking across the keys of our piano.
    
    Earlier people have mentioned 'white noise generators'. For many
    years now we have had an electrostatic precipitator running in
    our bedroom becuase of my husband's allergies. It masks all the
    strange house noises very well, and I find I can no longer sleep
    without the sound of it running.
    
    I have the most problem with 'nightly noises' when my husband is
    away or I am alone in the house during the day when I am sick.
    Another warm body to cuddle up to is an excellant cure for weird
    noises :-).
    
    Many years ago Don and I were sleeping our living room one
    summer night when I awoke to a very weird scarey sound. It continued
    and I shook him awake and asked him what the noise was. He woke
    up and listened and replied "oh go back to sleep it is just a
    screech owl." Relieved I went back to sleep. The next morning I
    said to him "boy, that screech owl sounded really weird didn't it?"
    He replied "Oh, was that really a screech owl? I didn't know!"
    (turns out it was) - he isn't afraid of the dark either! ;-)
    
    as a corolary to the on going discussion - is any one uncomfortable
    sitting by an uncurtained window at night - even when you know that
    there is *no way* anything could be out there?
    
    Bonnie J

    Well, its nice to know that others have experienced the same "feelings"
    I have/do/did.
    
    What was different was to see that my screen in my bathroom has
    totally disappeared... o'course, someone nicely pointed out to me,
    if someone WAS trying to break in through the bathroom window, and
    didn't for some reason or the other, why would s/he take the screen
    with him/her? I guess he had a point there...
    
    But to turn this topic into a little different light, now that I
    have had some sleep (finally)...  what does one do if one does have
    a breakin in a house?  If you are alone in a house with children,
    what should one do?  I have thought of gettng a can of Mace, sorta
    what the mail carriers carry for protection against animals, but,
    I am wondering, do others have a plan, sorta like fire drills for
    a real fire????  And how do you convey that plan to kids without
    frightening them to death?
    
    Gale
    

	My father used to have a sort of "fire drill" that we
	treated as sort of a game.  We had a place (acrossed
	the street) that we would meet after we had "escaped".
	I think I was about 10 or so, that would make the other
	kids 8, 6, and 4.  I remember it being fun to see who
	could get there first.

	Of course we weren't allowed to use the windows.

					-- Mike

RE: .37

Actually I think hitting the monster with the cat would be an excellent idea!
Just sling the cat across the room at him; the cat will shred him with those
flailing paws...

:-} Jim. 

|< Note 315.42 by YODA::BARANSKI "1's & 0's, what could be simpler?!" >

|Actually I think hitting the monster with the cat would be an excellent idea!
|Just sling the cat across the room at him; the cat will shred him with those
|flailing paws...

Is that perhaps a cat-apult?????

				Nigel

    Sounds more like a CATastrophy.
    
    --L

    What was the catalyst that catapulted this fraidy-cat
    category into a catastrophic catharsis?  I must have
    been cat-napping.
    
    Seriously, if the noises come back, you could call your local
    exorcist.  Should be in the yellow pages under
    Exterminators, Spirits (or) Spirits, Evil.
    
    Sorry.

    
    re: .40
    
    The overriding rule with being confronted with an intruder in one's
    house is to get out of it.  Nothing you own is worth getting shot
    over.  There are plenty of statistics that say most b & e types
    are not armed, will be scared off by confrontation, etcetera, etcetera,
    but it'd be hell to find out you've run into the exception.  No
    doubt there are those among the readership who have the necessary
    skills and wherewithal to deal with someone with enough crust to
    break into a house.  Most of us probably do not.
    
    I think the fire drill idea is a good one, with the modification
    that someone ought to get to a phone and summon the constabulary,
    who get a share of our taxes to deal with ne'er-do-wells.
                                                    
    DFW

    Hey, 'guys' Gale is really serious about this - how about we all
    stop the silly puns and try and give this a serious answer...
    
    actually (moderators please???)  I think that the way this note
    has gone that we should start a spearate note on defending ones
    house?
    
    Bonnie J

    Thanks Bonnie.....
    
    if you didn't already start one, I think I will...
    
    GAle

    
    
    
    I would like to thank all of you for this note.
    
    For the first time in 10 years (I am 21) I HAD to check under my
    bed last night before going to sleep.
    
    Thanks alot, all of you.
    
    Clark_who_sleeps_in_the_basement...
    
    :-) :-)

I was the world's scardest (a real word?) kid.  I used to be the only 
one to sleep downstairs in a family of 7.  There was a deck right outside 
one of my windows.  Almost nightly I would wake up and be SURE there was 
someone out there trying to get in. . . and of course, if he found me, 
he'd kill me.  

I spent more nights sleeping upstairs under one of my sister's beds than 
in my own bed.  My father was woken up in the middle of the night more 
times than any other dad in history.  I can't believe how good he always 
was about it.  He'd turn on all the lights in the house, put on the outside 
spotlights, take a flashlight out into the yard, and finally reassure me 
that there wasn't anybody out there.  (I never even considered that he might 
be humoring me.  I always thought he was looking for the culprit, too.)

One night when I was sure the intruder had made it into the house, I was 
too afraid to even try running upstairs, so I cranked up every electronic 
device in my room - radio, tv, and stereo - to maximum volume. . . I can't 
believe I didn't wake up the entire household!!!  

The sadder fact is that I was afraid even as a young adult if I were 
left alone in the house at night.  (Thank god we always had a large 
supply of German Shepherds - calms every fear!)

But those overwhelming fears continued for quite some time.  Somehow, 
I managed to get over it.  
    
    Take it from a pro, here are a few ideas that might help:  

  o Be near other people (even in separate rooms or apartments.)
  o Have a dog in the house - at least he'd bark to warn you of the 
    danger, and some would even protect you.
  o Use a fan, dehumidifier or other "white noise" device to drown out 
    all the other weird (but normal) noises.
  o Think about the probability of trouble logically.  For instance, if it
    is snowing outside, think to yourself "who in their right mind would 
    want to be out in this?"  Realize that of all the times you think you 
    hear something, it is rarely likely to be an actual intruder.  Why 
    worry about it until the time actually comes?  Also, realize that even 
    if it is an intruder the probabilities that he will kill you are small 
    - he'd probably run away, or try to tie you up in the closet or something.  
    (Sounds fun, huh? :-))

Hope this helps.  I'm hardly ever afraid any more - but there was a time 
when I wondered if I'd always have to sleep under someone else's bed. 

    re: .0 --
    
    At one time or another I have thought any or all of the following
    has been invading my house:
    
    If the sounds are sort of soft and scratchy, it might be worth checking
    whether you have some sort of pest, for example mice in the walls or
    bats in the attic, especially if you live in an older house. 
    
    Creaking or clanging noises can indicate a problem in the plumbing.
    Perfectly healthy water heaters can make clanking or thumping noises
    caused by the water expanding as it gets warmer.  
    
    Another cause of creaking noises can be a beam or joist or wall
    stud that is twisting as it dries or that has too much pressure
    on it. When our house was new, towards the end of the summer when
    the weather turned dry and the spackle under the paint really got
    dry, it sometimes sounded like Rice Krispies when you pour the milk
    on them -- little popping sounds. 
    
    A sound like slow, regular footsteps made by one of those large
    monsters created by the mad scientist is usually your chimney damper
    flapping in the wind. If you have gas heat, you may not even be aware
    that you have one of these.  Dampers can also howl, shreik, whine, and
    moan, depending on the direction the wind is coming from and how hard
    it's blowing.  I'll bet the person who heard the cat in the fireplace
    (or was it a woman moaning in the fireplace? Now I forget) had run
    across a damper in a bad mood.
    
    We used to live in a garden apartment that had one of those little
    decks with the wrought iron railing; when the wind was from just the
    right direction, it would shake the railings, causing the planks
    on the deck to flex and pop. It sounded just like a WWI biplane
    getting ready to take off -- terrible. 
    
    --bonnie

    Yeah, Bonnie, good thing the town cops didn't charge me with false
    alarm for the five squads they sent to the house when the raccoon
    pushed through the window screen in the bathroom.
    
    Hey, it sounded like a breakin!!!
    
    :^)

    Marge, I wouldn't have been able to call the cops . . . 
    
    
    I'd have had a heart attack at the first rattle. . . 
    
    --bonnie

    How about the other side of the coin? As some of you who know me
    are aware, I have to wear a hearing aid except when I am sleeping.
    Recently through tests it has been determined that I need to wear
    a hearing aid on both hears due to further hearing loss.
    Since I am living alone at the moment(since my fiance left), I am
    confronted with not being able to hear anything when I am asleep
    including the phone and alarm clock. If there was a fire, I would
    never hear the smoke detector go off or if someone broke in, I wouldn't
    hear that either. Count your blessings that you have the security
    of being able to hear and imagine the worse. The worse could happen
    to me and I would not be able to hear/protect myself.
    
    al
    
    not looking for sympathy but wanted to point out the other side
    

    re: .56
    
    Have you thought about getting a "hearing dog"?  They are trained
    to respond to a variety of audio signals, from the phone, the doorbell,
    to smoke detectors, etc.  And they give their person a signal that
    makes it clear which sound has presented itself!  
    
    And a pet is always nice, no matter what the reason!  (OKAY:  for
    SOME people a pet is always nice -- no flames please...)
    
    	P
    

    Thanks for reminding us of our blessings, Al.  
    
    Fully trained hearing ear dogs are expensive and the waiting list is
    long (and if your hearing is pretty normal with the hearing aids during
    the day you'd probably be at the end of the list, behind people who
    need to be notified of everyday noises) but you can train the average
    dog to recognize the sound of the smoke detector and rouse you. 
    Training a cat is a little harder but by no means impossible.  I've
    seen pet-training books in the library that explain how to do it.
    
    --bonnie

    I am not at a real disadvantage when Ihave my HEaring aid on and
    it will get better when I get my second one. I intensely like dogs
    and grew up with them. But being single and a renter puts several
    other problems into perspective - I don't believe a dog should be
    locked in a house all day or chained up outside when no one is home
    and most landlords prefer no pets. I am aware of hearing dogs and
    someday that may be the answer to the problem if I remain single.
    
    The important message is not my impairment but as previously mentioned
    the blessing of having your hearing and for that matter all your
    other senses. Please keep in mind whenever you are around a person
    who is hearing impaired;
    
    * a hard of hearing person has to work to hear, it is very tiring.
      A normal hearing individual hears passively
    
    * try to talk to the person and ennunciate your words clearly, we
      need to read lips to help us understand.
    
    I never appreciated what I had and all its benefits till I lost
    them. I hope my loss will never affect me in regards to what the
    original intent of this note is about.
    
    al