Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    Are there really too many options if someone knows what they want?
    I honestly don't think so.
    
    Ann

    "Options" are the reason that this country exists!

A couple of thoughts here based on personal experience and 
discussions with others:

1.	Usually, you will have a feeling in your gut as to which 
path to take.  Trust that gut feeling.  Don't feel too great a need 
to ask why.

2.	Consider trying a flaver you have never tried before.  Even
if it's the wrong road, it will be an enriching experience. 

	~Mike

    The pity about the candy store is that so many of us will look
    longingly at that bar with the almonds and raisins, or whatever,
    and not *allow* ourselves to choose it for various reasons.
    Reasons like - they're only for FOO type people.
    		 - I'm not worth it
    		 - but I've never done that and I'm scared to fail
    		 - but what will people (neighbors, parents, insert
   			your favorite judges here) think?
    		 - but but but.....
    And at 82 we wish we could try it, but can't due to physical
    limitations.
    
    ..."so many of us" often means "me".
    
    --Louise

    
    I love it....the scenario that is...
    
    RE242.5 I agree with you people have got to blow off the image that
    says this is the type of person you deserve. So what if he makes
    $2.00 an hour you only deserve this good. BULL! You deserve the
    best and you can only get it if you feel good about yourself.
    
    Personally I am on a men-free kick for awhile.......will be back
    soon though.
    
    Sunshine
    

I agree with the idea that most of us know what is right for us, and choose
accordingly.  No matter how tempting something may seem, if it's something
that doesn't seem right to you you probably won't choose it.  For example,
suppose I love peanuts but they don't agree with my stomach; then no matter
how tempting that bar may look, I probably won't choose it because I know
that the afteraffects aren't worth the initial taste!

Of course, there's another problem in that things are not always what they
seem.  Sometimes those raisins turn out to be pits!  Still, you can't let
that stop you -- just keep looking and eventually you'll find what you're
looking for.

I think a difficult choice would be provided if you had to choose between lots
of bars that were all good and had very similar properties ( ie, bars with
peanuts, bars with cashews, etc ).  That would probably take more thought, but
deciding between lots of different choices really isn't that tough, I don't
think.


Brian

How about if there were six different bars, all of which had all kinds of good
stuff that you liked, but no one bar that everything, and you could have one and
only on bar...?

Jim. 

        If you can only have one of the bars and none matches your
        notion of the perfect candy bar, then you pick one and live with
        your choice. Properly treated any of the bars can be a real
        treat. 
        
        Actually, the simplicity of the model begins to break down at
        this point. I take it that the point being gotten at in all this
        is related more to the highly complex issues of relationships
        between people than simple things like a typ of candy.
        
        Since we often come around to the relationship of marriage--
        which is only reasonable as it is the ultimate in relationships
        for almost all of us--the way I would apply my first sentance to
        marriage is this: In life it is possible--even likely--for you
        to meet several people who are right for you, who in one way or
        another exhibit most or all of what you find to desirable in a
        spouse. At any point in time it is possible that just around the
        corner there is someone who matches your "perfect match" better
        than anyone you've ever met. Sometime you just pick some who is
        a good match and then you build a life with them--something I
        believe requires a permanent commitment. In essence, you
        stop shopping.
        
        This brings up another failure of the metaphor. You don't really
        have to pick just one candy at the store. If you restrict the
        metaphor so that you have a choice of just one, you still
        haven't modelled th case for human relationships, because people
        don't have just one relationship. Deciding not to make someone
        your spouse doesn't mean you have no relationship with them. You
        can still be close friends. You can be lovers (although I think
        that this is a bad option if you have a spouse as it is going to
        interfere with your primary relationship). You can have a form
        of limited romance. There are LOTS of options, perhaps as many
        as pairs of people in the world.
        
        JimB. 

    Re: .0
    >Too many choices
    
    Oh boy...life's rough.
    
    Remember as you are standing there trying to choose you candy that
    there is a little boy standing outside with his nose on the windowpane
    just wishing he could have just one of those small candies.  He
    didn't eat today and he will probably not eat tomorrow either.
    
    There are times that I have watched other men throw away more love
    by dumping a relationship that is better than I expect I can ever
    hope to have.
    
    When I hear people complain about too many choices, boring sex
    lives, their misbehaving children,  their SO off on a business
    trip....etc, I have just one response "Live's rough" (Translation:
    You don't even know how good you have it) 
    
    						MJC