Conference oass::babynames

    Hi Cindy,
    
    What's your last name?  I might have some ideas, but I'd rather
    know what your last name is before I make any suggestions.
    
    - Kathryn
    

    Sorry Kathryn, our last name is Lilly.  The baby is due April 2.
    He says maybe it will be born on Easter and we will name it Easter
    Lilly, pretty bad huh?
    
    Cindy

    How about Trevor?
    
    Just as a side note, My choice would be Tyler....
    
    Anna
    

    Another side note; I have a nephew named Travis.
    
    How about Thomas?
    
    (I have a definite preference to simple names.)
    
    K.C.

    Hi again,
    
    O.K. Cindy, here's my opinion although you may not like it.  I'd
    have to go along with your husband and pick Travis over Tyler
    simply because I think it sounds better with your last name.  The
    "ler" ending in Tyler sounds weird to me with Lilly as a last name.
    But then, Travis is one of those names I put into what I call the
    "Henry" category.  I just can't imagine a sweet, cute, tiny little
    baby named Henry - and I feel the same way about Travis.  It just
    seems to sound like a grown-up man.  (George and Malcolm are other
    names in that group).
    
    Try not to worry too much though, about finding a name right now.
    You've still got some time.  I'm due in about 8 weeks or so and
    we don't have ANYTHING YET!  Oh well, if I come up with something,
    I'll reply again.  Good luck to you.
    
    - Kathryn
    

    Dear Kathryn,
    
    I think you're right about Travis going better with the last name.
    I just can't make myself like the name. Your point about it not
    being a name for a tiny baby is a good one, it would be like naming
    him Harold or something.  I hope you find some names soon.  Do you
    know what you're going to have. We told them we didn't want to know
    with Rachel and we'll probably do the same with this one.  Good
    luck and let me know what you choose.
    
    Cindy

    After reading .5  I want to change my mind.  I didn't realize the
    last name was Lilly.  Tyler Lilly sounds a bit like Tiger Lilly
    and I wouldn't want my son called that...  
    
    Anna  (expecting in 3 months, and still haven't a clue as to what 
    		my baby will be named...)
    

    Dear Anna,
    
    It does sound like Tiger Lilly.  I've also had the suggestions of
    Water, Millie and Billy Bob.  Hope you find some names for your
    baby, when I was in the hospital last time there were some twins
    there who didn't have names for two days. So don't feel alone, its
    a tough job to find a name that your husband likes and one that
    your kid won't hate you for when they grow up.  Good luck and let
    us know.
    
    Cindy

    re: Cindy and Anna
    
    Oh yes!  It's those husbands!  I can think of plenty of names that
    I like, but my dear, sweet hubby rejects them all.  I think we're
    going to end up just waiting to see what the baby looks like before
    naming it - maybe hoping that something will just "come to us".
    To answer your question, Cindy - No, I don't have a clue as to what
    the baby's sex is, although I've kind of had this funny feeling
    ever since I became pregnant that it's a boy.  Also, I fit just
    about all of the old wives tales for this baby being a boy.  So
    it makes sense that the only names we don't have too much trouble
    with are girls' names!  If by some slim chance I *do* have a girl,
    her name will probably be Allyson - even though it doesn't too
    good with our last name - or even Kelly.  We're not too sure.
    
    At any rate, I'm not too worried anymore.  My husband might surprise
    me while I'm in labor and agree to one of the names I've been pushing
    for.  Good luck to all of you...
    
    - Kathryn
    

    Oh, I almost forgot - about people making silly suggestions like
    Water, and Millie, etc. - I think there are people out there who'll
    do it to anybody.  I've been told to name my baby "Old" - you know,
    like the farmer?  Gee, if my last name was Mc instead of Mac I could
    name him Ronald!  That's also been suggested along with Donald.
    
    - K

    
    I know you wanted a "t" name but what about Robert or Joseph?  Bob
    Lilly sounds super IMO.  I agree with previous comments on Tyler
    as soon as I heard it I too thought of Tiger Lilly.   I'll check
    my list of boys names tonite for some possible T names.
    
    For girls how about Jennifer or Carolyn?
    
       Jim F.
    
    P.S. - K. Macdonald could go with IAN if its a boy.  Cathleen if
           its a boy.  Macdonald is name that offers a lot of good choices.
           Lilly certainly is tougher.  Good luck.

    I know what you're all saying about people coming up with 'funny
    first names' to go with the last name.  My married name is Bogart;
    so of course, everyone suggests Humphrey!!!
    
    When I was expecting my son, we hadn't agreed on a name until a week
    after  his due date (he ended up being a week and a half late).  And
    the name my husband picked out was one that I suggested months
    earlier which he rejected immediately.  I didn't bother to tell him
    that came up with that name months ago and to this day, he still
    believes he named him.!!!!   
    
    Anna
    

    re: .13
    
    So come on, Anna...  what's your son's name?  I remember we (and
    our husbands) seem to have so much in common (remember our leg
    problems from the Parenting conference?) that maybe this means my
    husband will suddenly decide in a few weeks that our son should
    be named Ian. :-)  I hope so!
    
    - Kathryn
    

    re. -1  (Kate?)
    
    Yes, I remember the leg thing.  BTW:  I haven't collasped in over 25
    days, so I'm starting to feel safe.  I believe the baby must be too
    big to fit in that position anymore....   I hope......
    
    Kinda funny you mentioned Ian.  Doesn't John come from Ian?  My
    son's name is Jonathan Lloyd (Lloyd's my father's name).   
    
    So far, my husband and I have considered Eric James as a boy's name
    (I'm having feelings I have another boy 'in waiting' here) but we're
    open to change.  We haven't a clue for a girl's name at all....I like
    Paige but my husband doesn't.  I'm just waiting him out hoping he'll
    come up with it himself, maybe I'll be able to use it as a middle name
    since we've decided this baby will be our last.  (My husband thinks
    he's too old to have more)...
    
    Anna
    
    
    
    

    
    Ian is indeed an Irish or Scottish version of John.  I read it last
    night but forget which.   
    
         Jim F.

    Dear Anna and Kathryn
    
    What was the protocol on the naming of your children. With our first
    child it was I name the girl, he named the boy. It was a girl so
    I got my choice (Rachel Elizabeth). With this baby all I hear is
    'you named the last one' so now he says its his turn, male or female.
    The problem is he and I do not agree on any names (although he did
    like Rachel's) He wants Travis and I want Brice but since that happens
    to be my grandfathers name he says his family will be offended.
    I told him last night I would just wait till I was in the hospital
    and fill out the birth certificate while he wasn't there. I just
    hope we can find a compromise. All the girls names that I mention,
    Paige, Hannah, Grace etc he hates but he hasn't made any girls choices
    yet. Really I want to name her Charity Victoria but all I have gotten
    from anyone on that is a negative. Good Luck ladies and do let us
    know what your final choices are.
    
    Cindy

    Cindy,
    
    In our case, there aren't any set rules on how we're going to name
    this child (it's my first, his second - BTW.  His son, now 8 is
    named Craig).  At any rate, even though you "named the first one"
    I don't feel that should give your husband license to name this
    child something you can't stand.  It just doesn't seem right (in
    my opinion, anyway) especially since he happened to like the choice
    you made in naming Rachel (I like that name, BTW).  See, I'd really
    like to name this child Ian if it's a boy, because I love the name,
    but if he can't stand it - even if he says "Go ahead and name him
    Ian" - I just don't think I could go through with it because I want
    my husband to like our child's name too.  I don't want him to cringe
    every time he says it.  This may eventually cause him to subconciously
    think less of the child - I don't know... but I don't want to take
    any chances.  I just feel that nobody should have to compromise
    *that* much on naming their child and you shouldn't have to force
    yourself to like a name that you really couldn't stand to begin
    with.  I'm really trying to have faith that we'll come up with a
    name we both love at the last moment.
    
    Please try to get your husband to bend a little.  I suggested a
    fun little exercise to someone in a previous note - you might want
    to try it.  It's somewhere in the note titled "Undecided!" - I'm
    not sure of the number.  Warning:  That note gets a little heated
    in a few areas.  Well, maybe it was just me.  Oh, and the exercise
    is the "List thing" I talked about.
    
    Take care,
    Kathryn
    

re:-1
    
    I just checked - it's note 413 and I think my reply is around
    number 10 (the reply that has the list-thing in it, that is)
    
    - K
    

    My husband and I don't have any set rules on naming the baby either.
    We keep throwing names out to each other (actually, now that I think
    of it, I'm the one doing the throwing out of names, I don't think he
    has yet!) and we get each other's immediate reaction.  My husband did
    comment about somehow using my brother's name, Lance James since my
    brother has been SO good to us and our son.  
    
    About Kathryn's idea on making each parent making a list, my cousin
    and her husband decided on their son's name that way.  And this was
    11 years ago.  They found they had some names in common, and choice
    from that sub-list.  I have a great feeling my husband and I will be
    doing that as the time approaches.
    
    BTW:  My son Jonathan's name would have been Rachel if he were a girl.
    	I think we had Rachel Rene picked out, although I really wanted
    	Rachel Paige.
    
    Anna
    

    
    REF: .17
    
    Sounds like you need to do some serious compromising.   It appears
    that you are currently in a WIN/LOSE or LOSE/WIN situation.   I
    think both parents have to be "confortable" with their childs name.
    They don't necessarily have to love it.   The last thing you want
    to do is to have the naming process to cause problems in the marriage.
    I agree with K.Macdonald, if one person hates the name, it will
    remain a sore point for years and the losing sponse will be reminded
    daily of the "loss".
    
    In this notes conference there are several super lists of baby names.
    Both have about 600-800 names.  Why not print two copies out.  Have
    your husband select 30 or 40 names that he likes.  You do the same
    Then match the lists to find some that you both could accept (albeit may
    not love).   Good luck. 
    
         Jim F. 
   
    
    
    

    Boy does this sound familiar. We compromised on our name selection
    much like you all are describing. My husband wanted the baby's name
    to start with a "J", a family trend on his and my side. I was violently
    opposed to another "J" in the family. But when we did the list thing
    he disliked all the names on my list. The only objection I had to
    his choice was the fact that it started with a "J". So Justine was
    decided upon for a girl. 
    
    The name for a boy was much harder and we still talk about a boys
    name if we should have one. I wanted a one sylable, masculine name
    - Max was my first choice. He liked and still likes Ian ( I love
    the name too but I will never agree to Ian Diaz ). My husband kept
    saying things like - "We'll be inspired when we see him", etc. A
    week before the baby was due we "decided" on Judd as a compromise 
    (Judd is my mother-in-laws maiden name). When it came right down to it 
    neither of us were too crazy about Judd so during labor my husband
    asked me  "if it's a boy what to you want to name him". Of course
    my answer was "I don't care" (I know that would have changed once
    the medical records person came around with the birth certificate).
    
    I guess the point of my rattling is to say that I empathize. I know
    we are going to do the same thing with #2. 
    
    Good Luck! I'm interested in how all the discussions turn out.
    
    Jan

 
    Gee, sounds like we should all get together somewhere (spouses
    included) and have a party to discuss naming our children.
    Maybe we'd have an easier time naming each other's than our
    own! :-)
    
    Kathryn
    

    An important thing to remember is the its the CHILD who is going
    to have to live with the name, all of his/her life.
    
    K.C.

    Hi guys, sorry I've been out on an install for a while but I have
    to answer. I think Jim's idea of printing out the list is a good
    one. Surely out of all those names we can find one we can agree
    on. I also agree that you should both at least be able to tolerate
    the name.(My grandmother doesn't like Rachel so she usually just
    calls her poochie-woochie) I have to say that I love the name Ian
    and I hope your husbands agree to that. The only name that Roger
    and I can agree on for a girl is "Rose" and since our last name
    is Lilly its a little rediculous. We both would like to have it
    as a middle name-we think that would be acceptable. I want Hannah
    Rose and he wants Daron Rose. Oh well we're getting closer. So I
    think I'll print out the list so we can study it on the way to our
    awards banquet this weekend. Good Luck everyone.
    
    Cindy

    Just had to let you all know. He has decided that he likes Hannah
    Rose and thats our girls name. Mind you, that was with no pressure
    from me. So we're half-way there. By the way, any opinions on our
    selection? 
    
    Cindy

    Hannah Lilly?  Sounds exotic; almost Hawaiian (at least to an untrained
    ear like mine!)
    
    I like it!!!
    
    K.C.

    Cindy,
    
    I've always LOVED the name Hannah...  I think you've made a wonderful
    choice.  Now...  it's the boys' names that are so difficult.
    
    - Kathryn
    

    
    I also like the sound of Hannah Lilly.  Hannah is a very pretty
    name for a girl.   Glad you have been able to make some progress.
    
      Jim F.