Conference noted::bicycle

171.0. "More Bike Levity" by JETSAM::HANAUER (Mike...Bicycle~to~Ice~Cream) Mon Nov 10 1986 15:23

Written for "Wheelpeople", CRW Newsletter.  Inspiration to insert here 
from Matt's note 170.

Hit <return>


              WANTED - INCLEMENT WEATHER EXORCIST

  Yes,  you  read  it  right.   I  desperately  need  a   true
  professional  to  remove the inclement weather which I carry
  around within my soul.  Since I leave a bit of this stuff at
  virtually  every  ride  I  attend,  I  must  be  full of it.
  Please, I am desperate for help.

  First there was the first arrowed ride of 1986  led  by  Ned
  Weld.   Snow,  rain, sleet and hail.  Yes, I did write right
  here that the lousy weather had been fun - but that was only
  the beginning.

  In March I flew to California with Jerry,  Jamie  and  Paul:
  it  poured  almost  every day.  It even rained in the desert
  and into our rented car (ark).  Yes, believe it.

  Then came the "Big Event" in April.  I left  my  mark  there
  too.   It  was  at  this  point  that the complex started to
  develop - maybe it's not just a coincidence all this rain.

  And  in  July,  Jamie  and  I  went  to  the  Northwest,  to
  Washington  and  British  Columbia  and  Vancouver for three
  weeks.  No, it didn't rain everyday -  only  the  first  two
  weeks.  Help, I am desperate.  My presence makes it rain.

  Next major event, run by  Jamie,  the  National  Century  in
  September.   The forecast said it would clear by 9 a.m.  110
  Miles in the rain.  I had spoiled this major event  for  the
  whole club!

  Then last week Iris, Al  and  I  spent  a  week  cycling  in
  central Florida, where it never rains in the autumn.  Almost
  never.  Only when I am there.  Only when I am anywhere.

  My skin is wrinkled, my  toes  are  starting  to  webb.   My
  grab-ons  have  begun  to rust and I have installed clincher
  pontoons.  I have to wet down the sheets at night  in  order
  to simulate a wet sleeping bag.  People have actually called
  me Noah.  The only good thing - people who ride with me  are
  never  called a wimp; but after a point people don't seem to
  mind being called a wimp.

  Well that's my situation.  How does a sun worshiper  survive
  this?  Does Gor-Tex come in transparent with a sun lamp?  If
  you can help or have friends in high places, please call me.
  Call me desperate.

                                                  Mike Hanauer

    Water + Drought = ?
    
    I may be on the opposite side of the rainfall index.  I moved from
    Florida to New York and they had two of the driest summers on record.
    Then as a follow-up I moved to Atlanta and the driest summer in
    140 years hit.  Maybe the next time I move you should plan a ride
    in the area and we'll see what happens.

John (.1):

Let me know next time you go out for a ride.

Be sure to bring your rain gear and a couple changes of clothes. 


		Mike

    IT SEEMS TO RAIN ON OUR FAMILY EVERY TIME WE GO CAMPING.
    
    LAST TRIP WE WERE TENTING IN VIRGINIA WHERE THEY HAD THE WORST
    THUNDERSTORM IN 30 YEARS.  THE PREVIOUS TRIP THEY WERE GLAD TO 
    SEE US IN FLORIDA...SEEMS THEY HAD A DROUGHT ALL SUMMER. IT RAINED
    EVERY DAY WE WERE THERE.  

    171.  MAYBE WE COULD GET TOGETHER AND RENT OURSELVES OUT AS RAINMAKERS.
          IF LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, MAKE LEMONADE!
    
                                 SLOSH, SLOSH
    
                                 PEG    

    Are we related perhaps?  It always rains on me when I go camping
    -- except when it snows, of course.
    
    ed

How can you tell the difference between a bicyclist and a runner?



	The bicyclist is smiling.




		~Mike

    	And...
    
    	How can you tell if a cyclist (motor or otherwise) is
    	happy?
    
    	<virtual FF>
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    	Count the bugs on his/her teeth!

< Note 171.6 by AMUN::CRITZ "Pavarotti loses 85" >
                               -< And, one more >-

>    	Count the bugs on his/her teeth!

Is that from the Stone Age, or what?!